As we enter the holiday season: Thanksgiving, Hanukkah (which falls on Thanksgiving Day this year!), Christmas, New Year’s and so on through to Epiphany, many people make it a point to spend time with their family and friends. And quite a few of those people do the same thing year after year – commonly referred to as traditions, and many other people do something new each year, eschewing anything that they have done for the holidays before.
So I ask you: Do you and your family have any holiday traditions?
In my family we have Wigilia. My ancestors came to the United States from Poland (or close to it depending on the European borders that week). Wigilia comes from the Latin term vigilare which means “to await”. This is the Polish name for Christmas Eve.
The Polish center describes the tradition of Wigilia very well.
For my family, my grandparents (paternal) always had Christmas Eve dinner. This was a no-excuse dinner. You went. Period. If you lived far enough away, you might be able to receive a dispensation, but disappointment was quietly noted.
We passed the oplatek (only one was blessed, we kids would grab a pack or two and stuff it in our faces without regard to religious connotations, so my grandmother only had one blessed), ate our pierogi, cabbage and other meatless entrees (Christmas Eve is meatless for the Italians and Poles) and then opened gifts. Sometimes people trotted across the street for midnight mass (my grandparents lived (and my grandfather still does) across the street from a church), other times it was bundle the kids up for the ride home so they can dream of Santa’s arrival.
Over the years many things have changed in our family, but the main change that impacts Christmas is almost none of us are religious. That would seem to infer that Wigilia should have gone by the wayside in our family, yet it hasn’t. When my grandmother passed away 14 years ago, we continued to have Christmas Eve at my grandparent’s house. My sister, niece and I would go in, decorate and then cook the food at our houses and bring it over to grandpa’s to be heated for dinner, and we would clean up afterward. This went on for some time until it became evident that it really was too much work for us, and it tired my grandfather out to have so many in his house at one time.
So, 7-8 years ago, I insisted we move the production over to our house. Now, Hubby and I have Christmas Eve dinner for my family. We still do many of the same things – oplatek (only blessed if my mother provides it), pierogi and meatless entrees, it is just at a different location than my grandparent’s house. When my grandparents had Christmas Eve dinner, no one outside the family was invited unless you were engaged to them! At our house, Christmas Eve dinner is still a sit-down meal, but as long as I know how many are attending, we are pretty open to who comes. We can fit up to 30 people at the same table. We’ve had in-laws, exchange students, friends, room-mates, etc attend Christmas Eve dinner at our house. ‘Tis the season is our motto!
While we have had a number of changes to our holiday traditions over the years, definitely the biggest shift has been the move from the religious aspects of my youth, to the family gathering traditions of my middle years. And, I am very comfortable with that change. To me the holidays are a time for loved ones and friends. A time to reflect on days past, and to look forward to the future. While some may scoff at the idea of the holidays, I do not: I appreciate the time I have with my family, recognizing that we all age, and those that we hold near and dear may not be with us much longer. The holidays are a time for all of us to gather together – something we don’t do often enough with our busy schedules and lives.
Do you have any holiday traditions? What are they?
Stephanie B says
My parents separated right before I turned 6 and divorced shortly after so I never really had a traditional holiday. My dad had us for Christmas and my mom would get us from Dec 26th-Jan 1st. I was about 14 and asked to start spending the actual holiday with my mom because I have a much younger half brother and it was exciting to see him. Once I started doing that I was able to attend the annual Christmas Eve party at my step grandmother’s house. My step dad’s entire family was there and we ate tons of food and talked and exchanged gifts. When she passed away 6 years ago my step aunt and uncle took over, and while it is still a nice night with family, it isn’t the same anymore. We don’t get to attend often because the weather is often nasty out their and our car won’t make it to the top of the barely plowed road they live on. My husband’s parents are still married so he has all these wonderful stories and we do our best to have our own traditions with our son. For instance, on Christmas Eve night when we come back from visiting family, my son finds a big box in our living room. It has pajamas for all of us, a Christmas book and movie, hot cocoa and a treat with a letter from his Elf, Jingles, telling him he made the “nice list” that year and that he left the gift before he had to head back to the North Pole.
Looking forward to reading everyone’s traditions!!
Ann says
Oh that is one your son will remember his whole life! What a wonderful tradition, Stephanie!
Ann
KimH says
Love the PJ tradition! Wish I had thought of it or seen it years ago.. 🙂
Tamona Valentine says
I love traditions! I will be stealing some of your traditions lol. I can’t say I have any traditions other than eating. Oh that is pretty sad lol! Oh wait, I do have a tradition. Every year we have a scavenger hunt for the kids. One year we made them think someone broke in and stole our tree and all their gifts. It was so much fun. Now they request some time of foolery each Christmas. We have warped traditions lol!
Ann says
LOL Tamona – you make me laugh.
Ann
KimH says
In my own family growing up we always went to grandparents for Christmas day.. We lived 600 miles away from one set always but while we lived near my dads family most of the time, we spent most Christmases with my Moms parents. Cousins would come over & we’d have big slumber parties in the living room.. loads of pallets laid out everywhere.. there were 10 of us grand kids when we were all little..
I spent Christmas day as a grown up splitting time between my Grandmas and my X’s familys get together. No real traditions other than that.. After I moved to Ohio, M’honey’s kids went to their mom’s sisters house on Christmas Eve to share Christmas with their family (their mom is in Az) and I was usually doing last minute wrapping or odds & ends. Some years, we’d go out shopping because M’honey refused to go early.. He’s getting much better about it now.. lol..
This year we’re not shopping at all! Yay! so it’ll just be a very traditional dinner here at my house..
Oh.. M’honey always used to pick out a full outfit for his 2nd born daughter and we MUST also buy the kids all LifeSaver Books for their stockings… We’ll still do the Lifesaver books.. its a must. Anything else is up for change!
Ann says
They will always remember the Lifesaver books, Kim!
Ann
Tiffany says
Growing up my papa took all the children to mass christmas eve while the other adults stayed home stuffing the turkey and cooking. He would deliver us home after mass and we would go to bed wake up to Santa’s gifts. We always rushed threw them to get back to our grandparents house where there were more gifts to open. We would eat christmas lunch there and then head back home to play with our gifts. As an adult our papa has passed away so I normally load the children up for Mass so that everyone else can stuff the bird and cook. My grandmother now lives with me, so my parents and sisters bring all the wrapped gifts to my house after the children are in the bed. Christmas morning my kids wake up to a house full of gifts and what santa brought. They only open what we have given them until everyone shows up and we have a HUGE gift unwrapping party in the living room there are 16 of us and growing. I always love the gifts but what makes it even better is the noise, the excitement and anticipation of everyone getting there. My uncle and his wife and their children and grandchildren come a couple days before christmas and we have our annual chiense (sp) party. This is also called white elephant to some. I bake homemade fortune cookies and put numbers inside that is how we determine the numbers. This is also a much anticipated christmas tradition. Sorry this is so long there is much about Christmas and family that I love.
Ann says
White elephant gift exchange! We used to do that with Hubby’s company when it was small… oh my those were some funny gifts.
You have some lovely traditions, Tiffany. Thank you for sharing!
Ann